The Silent Strength of Courtesy and Gratitude ...... A Mirror for the Self-Assured : Vanam Jwala Narasimha Rao

 The Silent Strength of Courtesy and Gratitude

A Mirror for the Self-Assured

Vanam Jwala Narasimha Rao

(November 28, 2025)

Published in The Pioneer on December 3, 2025

In the corridors of power, in homes where wisdom resides, and in institutions where knowledge is cultivated, a quiet truth often goes unnoticed that, greatness is not just built on talent, intellect, or ambition, but it is deeply anchored in humility, gratitude, and the grace of acknowledging others. These qualities do not merely decorate our character. They define its strength. The story of human conduct, whether in personal relationships or public life, begins with four simple yet profound words, which are moral compasses and character barometers. They are: Please, Thank You, I Am Sorry, and You Are Welcome.

From ancient Indian traditions to modern leadership doctrines, expressing gratitude and showing respect have always been considered fundamental righteous virtues. Yet, in today’s ambition driven world, few individuals, especially on climbing ladders of influence, tend to forget these basics. It is not out of ignorance, but out of arrogance. Courtesy becomes optional, gratitude becomes rare, and relationships become transactional or negotiable. These individuals rise out of coincidence, circumstance, or convenience, but without roots, and eventually, without respect.

This article is a reflection and a subtle message to those who have the power to shape systems, influence minds, and touch lives, to gently look within and discover whether success has blinded their civility. Equally it carries another message that, some ‘Magic Words That Build Character’ carry extraordinary power. They open hearts, mend wounds, and elevate relationships. They are neither ornamental nor ceremonial, but they are essentially foundational.

Please reflects humility. It acknowledges that one is requesting, not demanding. Thank You reflects recognition. It admits that something received was not an entitlement but a gesture. I Am Sorry reflects integrity. It shows the courage to accept fault without feeling small. You Are Welcome reflects generosity. It acknowledges the value of giving without seeking returns. People, especially in authority which they reached through help, should understand the strength of these words. That build not just influence, but trust. They do not need to announce their authority. People willingly give it to them. But those who see acknowledgments as weakness, apologies as defeat, and gratitude as unnecessary, may build empires, but ultimately stand alone in them, unsupported and brittle.

Why an accomplishment, in all probabilities, purely temporary in its nature, or at the most, semi-permanent, however much authoritarian position it might be, outgrow the appreciation, is a mystery. There are certain individuals whose leadership journeys are profoundly inspiring. Let us appreciate them. Nevertheless, they conveniently forget their early steps which were ably and genuinely guided by the goodwill of mentors. They also deliberately forget the support of well-wishers, and the silent blessings of those who believed in their potential. The reason simple: As ambition ascends, memory sometimes fades. They overlook the hands that helped them climb. They hold titles but lose values.

One such individual, well educated, once little known, and less noticed, knocked on the doors of opportunity seeking guidance of an elderly person known through his kin. He did not come alone. There was a hope, trust, and dependency in his inner calm. A helping hand was extended to him by the elderly, not for personal gain, but for pure goodwill as a family friend. From accommodation and advice, to introductions and interventions, that hand paved pathways for him. Coupled with his inner strengths, and with each milestone, his stature grew. And so did his silence. He achieved what he desired, proudly wearing the crown of success, yet somewhere on that ladder, he left behind the footprints of gratitude.

This is a phenomenon that exists in many spheres of life. Ungratefulness is rarely loud. Typically, it is silent, deliberate, and masked. It is not always in words, but often in the lack of them. The absence of acknowledgement, the refusal to accept past help, the eagerness to rewrite history as a one-man journey, are subtle signs. Few people believe that admitting help exposes their dependency. They seldom realize that, the ability to acknowledge others does not diminish one's greatness, but it magnifies it. The most dangerous kind of ungratefulness is not forgetting the favor, but remembering it and pretending it never existed. This is ‘the Paradox of the Ungrateful.’

Some individuals become indifferent because success gives them visibility, but not vision. Ambition gives them direction, but not reflection. They rise, but they do not understand who helped them rise. They stand tall, not recognizing that the base of their height was built by many unseen hands. For them, relationships become ladders. Once climbed, they are forgotten. They believe they are self-made, despite the truth that, no one truly is. Even a seed cannot become a tree without soil, water, sunlight, and time.

It is time that such people comprehend that, ‘Leadership Without Gratitude Is Only Power Without Grace.’ Great leaders command respect, not demand it. Their civility speaks it. A truly accomplished leader never forgets the teacher who opened the first door, the friend who provided the first platform, the mentor who gave the first opportunity, or the supporter who stood by when no spotlight shone on them. Leadership is not merely about strategy, oratory, or achievement. It is about acknowledgment.

A leader may command authority, but not affection if he or she is ungrateful. People may obey them, but never truly follow them. The Beauty of Humble Hearts is the Silent Power of Apology, which is not submission, but strength. It takes courage to accept errors, wisdom to correct them, and humility not to hesitate to apologize. None is always right, though they are always proud. Those who cherish relationships over ego are the ones remembered. The rest, only feared, and eventually, forgotten.

Greatness without grace is like a tall tree without roots. It appears strong, but one storm is enough to bring it down. This is not a criticism. It is a mirror. It is meant for anyone who once received help and subsequently forgotten to acknowledge it. It is meant for those who do not believe that relationships are stepping stones and cornerstones. It is meant for those who confuse fame with respect and success with stature. Those who possess brilliance, strategy, and oratory, but lack humility, may achieve fame, and accumulate wealth, but rarely earn loyalty.

A ‘Gentle Wake-Up Call’: If one has climbed high, the world applauds, but if one forgets who held the ladder, the applause eventually fades. One does not become extraordinary by merely achieving position, wealth, or recognition. One becomes extraordinary by retaining sensitivity, gratitude, and humility while standing in those positions. Those who extend help do not seek monuments or medals. They only want acknowledgment, not for their benefit, but for the dignity of human relationships.

In the end, when titles fade, positions change, and crowds disperse, only character remains. And character is built not on pride, but on gratitude. So, to anyone who has risen through life, look not just upward, but backward. Remember the doors that opened, the hands that lifted, and the voices that believed in you when you were still becoming. Because success is not how far one goes, but how gracefully one remembers. And sometimes, all it takes is to say: Thank You.

(This is a Gentle Reminder and Not a Reproach. These reflections are not drawn from mere observation but from decades of close associations with leaders, professionals, and achievers. I have seen people rise with the support of many, and then behave as if they arrived alone. It is painful, not because gratitude was expected, but because silence replaced simple acknowledgment. When gratitude disappears, relationships are not merely forgotten. They are devalued. I write this not to complain, but to remind that, greatness is never self-made, and humility is never optional).